We’ve still got a long way to go.
I want this. Most specifically I want this with you.
The Thinker’s Canvas
In “Indiana Jones: Raiders Of The Lost Ark” Harrison Ford was supposed to fight against an Arab swordsman. But Ford was too ill at that time, so he suggested to director Steven Spielberg that Indy simply shoot the maniac. That scene later became one of the most memorable ones in the Indiana Jones-series.
So - it’s THAT time of the year again. The time when you are supposed to buy a lot of crap for people who will buy you a lot of crap in return and eat a lot of crap as well.
And on top of it you can’t go into any supermarket, shopping mall or even a fucking drugstore without being chased by really really REALLY crappy music. Just like…last christmas…
That’s why every december it’s a “fuck you christmas jingles”-playlist. Mostly metal - or at leastreally angry - music.
So…headphones on & no more crappy jingles :)
Eminem - Berzerk (sorry, I just really love him)
This is what can happen to you in the first december weeks while having dinner at a restaurant in Salzburg.
They are called “Krampus” or “Perchten” and accompany Nikolaus - the German/Austrian version of Santa.
How are you?
Well, there are so many ways to answer that. But none of them really matters. You don’t know me. You don’t know my story. So there is no point in dumping fragments on you because you won’t be able to see the whole picture.
How am I?
Not there. As pathetic and fucked up as that may sound it simply is that way. I am not there. Well, not much anyway. Most of the time I’m somewhere in my mind trying to think of a solution for the mess I got myself in. Only problem is I just end up with a new story every time and get a little lost in it.
So what as the question?
Oh yeah – how am I? I’m fine. Really I am okay. I can’t change any of the things that get thrown my way and I can’t make them care. Not by shouting at them and not by ignoring them. Not even by voicing the problem. So why do you ask again?
Are you lonely?
No. I am alone. You might not see it, but there is a huge difference.
Writing, writing, writing.
Every second you spend writing, you are not doing the horrible things you’ve taught to your body to feel good. Every second you spend writing you address those fucking feelings. Read it. Trash it. Make it better. Refine it. Trash it again. Even if it seems hopeless….
Seit 22. November 2013 gibt es wieder ein neues Zelda-Spiel für Nintendo DS: “The Legend Of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds”. Wir haben uns das Zelda-Universum ei
Armes Kidayna dürfte endlich wieder mal was schreiben…über das einzige Nintendo Game das ich tatsächlich mal gespielt & geliebt habe.
Link ftw :)
You don’t get me. And it’s okay. Most people don’t. Hell – even I have trouble understanding myself sometimes. But you don’t know how hard it is.
I’m always the one watching from the sidelines. See you having a life with all the drama and quarrels and love and laughs in it. The only life I have is the one I create on a piece of paper. I wish I could change that. Really, believe me – I do.
So I know that it’s easy for you to toss me aside. Easy for everyone to forget that I actually exist. And I get that, I do. It’s something I brought onto me all by myself. But see I do…I still exist and I do have feelings. And if you hurt them you should expect me to react like someone hurt.
I wish I could be beautiful or witty or cheeky or nice or…just be more like you. But I can’t. I’ll never be pretty or skinny or quick-witted or fascinating or just be plain nice. I am positively mental – always have been.
I don’t want to be the broken one. So I’ve gotten really good at acting like I’m a functional human being. But if you kick too hard I will bite.
I’m sorry, I don’t mean to. It’s just the way I am.
How I survived today…
Here are 10 photos (out of 22) from my series Racial Microaggressions. I have asked my friends on the Fordham University Lincoln Center campus to write down an instance of racial microaggression they have faced on a poster for me to take a picture of them.
Never let me go.
Volbeat & Pokemon :D